EcoWatch: Entrust those memories of the dads of yesterday
“The quality of a father
can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself
but for his family.”
Reed Markham, professor, and author of Communication at Dayton State College
As Father’s Day nears, many children will attempt to make it a perfect day for their dad. Memories will be made of the special day by picture-taking and special activities. However, how long will memories of the day linger on, especially if a death occurred of a father while a child is young or a grandfather? Most recently, a nephew, Braden, was given an assignment to write a report of any relative they may have had, who was an immigrant to America. A few calls to his grandmother, who dusted off a book I had written many years ago about my dad, his grandfather, along with her added notes, gave him some of the information he needed to write his story. I might add, he received an A for his assignment. However, even with the information he had, he wanted more details about his grandfather’s life of yesteryear, who came from Laerma, a small village on the island of Rhodes, in Greece.
A call to the four siblings asking for memories of our father was made. Although he was born in 1901 and died at age 59 from overwork, his helpful sayings, and his example of leading a good life have lived on.
The eldest son, Jim, remembers dad saying, family means everything, and you always protect and help family members. He remembers dad, who was a restaurant owner, never turning away anyone who was hungry and that at his wake the right side of the church was full of hobos that he had fed, who had come to pay their respects.
Pam said she remembers how safe she felt when Dad was around. He always spoke soft and calm. He was the one who took us around Chicago, to the beach, to the Arboretum, introducing us to the world as a place of wonder. He was a great cook and played music on his mandolin and sang to us with songs from Greece.
Tommy’s remembrances of growing up with dad and his sayings are now written down by him for future generations. It will now be a guiding light from Dad to all the young people in the family. Tommy dedicated his Ph.D. dissertation to ‘POP’ and referenced his advice to him in the dedication.
Marilyn, the youngest, said Dad was always kind to whomever he met. He had good morals and said if you lie to me, you will steal from me, and asked that we never lie. She became a nurse to be of service in helping people and to follow the example of dad.
I remember him as a humble man, who was an immigrant from Greece, who worked hard, became a legal citizen, and often said he loved America. At times he yearned to go back to Greece to visit family and friends, however, having five children made this only a dream. He never could afford a car nor vacations, having to work 14 hours daily. Through his examples, we all managed to become good people even though there were times when events were often chaotic.
However, what memories will be told when his children pass on? Who will be the keeper of those who are gone? Who will answer the questions of past relatives, especially of deceased mothers and fathers? Hopefully, there will be a member of the family who will write down special memories of the loved ones we share our life with. Pictures and the written word will give balance to our young people in the family that more than ever, need good examples and words to live by.
There is also another special way to preserve the memory of loved ones. A nephew, Billy, convinced another favorite grandfather, Joe, to agree to a video where he would answer questions about his hometown in Italy, his many jokes, and favorite sayings. He was asked to tell of his days where he would peddle fruit from his truck in alleyways with the help of his favorite niece, Elisa. Now younger generations can enjoy the stories of his life, and advice straight from him.
Years ago, other civilizations had ways of preserving memories, some by the written word, others by word of mouth as done by many Indian tribes, who picked one person to keep the memories and passed them on when he became sick or was dying.
Today many will say there are more advanced and modern ways to preserve memories of loved ones. However, the written word or a video of a loved one speaking their own words would be hard to beat. In this day and age, when there is often a lack of respect for parents and husbands and fathers who are often made to look inept, uplifting stories of morals, good character, and other helpful comments may serve as an anchor to hold the family together.
It has been 123 years since Dad graced this earth and yet the special memories and words of a man who lived a good yet simple life have survived to this day. Hearing a mandolin, with a Greek song, along with the whiff of Greek cooking, the sight of ocean waters, awaken memories of a good man, my dad.
A memorable Greek quote from an unknown poet said, “What you leave behind is not what is engraved on a stone monument, but what is woven into the lives of others.”
Happy Father’s Day to all.
email: gaiasvigil@gmail.com
